Supporting Parents
Supporting Parents
By Janaki Narayan
Senior Mentor and Faculty
As a parent and a special educator, I have understood the importance of maintaining one’s own physical and mental well being , and maintaining relationships, when parenting a child with specific needs.
Of course, the arrival of a child is an eagerly expected event for many parents and the extended family . Some parents immediately dream of specific achievements and accomplishments of the child when he/she grows up.
Nature has its own design and plans and not all children are born the same way. Some children do have developmental delays /differences and there is recent research which informs that developmental differences such as autism are increasing.
When a parent starts observing these differences, the first reaction is usually denial. Soon this turns into panic and a whole host of emotions flood the parents. Sometimes, the mother might start feeling doubtful and guilty about the routine during the pregnancy period. In some instances, the relationships between parents starts becoming strained as each will start looking to trace the source of the issue in the differences observed in the child.
This is a most difficult period for the parent and they will start getting advice from a variety of sources, near and dear and sometimes neither near or dear, as to what the “remedies” could be.
The 3 A philosophy can help parents. ACCEPTANCE, AWARENESS, ACTION
Acceptance Parents will feel guilty, bitter and angry initially. It is better to acknowledge these feelings and also get help to let go of it. But it is essential to accept reality and go about changing whatever is possible. The parent should accept both the child and the problem, as some of these are lifelong. Eventually, the child learns coping mechanisms. The parents also have to accept that improvement may be slow.
Awareness Parents should seek accurate information from medical and educational professionals. It is important to learn as much as possible about the child’s situation. Parents should listen carefully and ask for clarification wherever required.
Action Parents should seek professional guidance and social support. Focusing on the specific concerns and staying positive as well as early intervention is crucial to the parent’s and child’s well being.
The most essential thing to remember is that every child deserves to feel safe and happy at home, school and community. This secure feeling will help him/her find a meaningful path in life and the motivation to maximize potential. Let nobody identify any child by his/her disability. The individual is a person first with a sea of strengths and some difficulties.
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